Calling all Kizomba/Semba lovers who desire to be a part of a quality unified community, your attention and energy is needed! Ladies and Gentlemen, Kizomba Harmony brings you its first State of Unity Address! What is the current State of Unity in the Kizomba community? Find out here! Video and Text synopsis can be found below! Have a seat, grab a cup of coffee, and have a listen. Feel free to like, share, and comment!

*Disclaimer: the intent of this address isn’t simply to hurt feelings, but some things needed to be said for the long-term health and growth of our community.

The charity mentioned can be found here: http://www.climbagainstsexualabuse.com

The Kizomba Unity group can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/kizombaunity

VIDEO VERSION

 

 

TEXT SYNOPSIS

What is the state of unity in Kizomba?  Nonexistent.  Though the community of hardcore dancers is relatively small, it’s already divided into little cliques and groups who rarely if ever work together, and sometimes even attack each other.  This division can be seen in most cities.

Often these cliques are normally formed about instructors/organizers who are the “leaders” of the cliques.  One clique is what I call a “traditionalist” clique, members of which generally do not like “new styles” like Urban Kiz/French Style/etc., and their events rarely feature music suitable to these new styles.  Another clique, which I’ve previously called “revolutionary” is all about trying to push “urban kizomba”(and associated music) over Kizomba (Yes, I know, actual Kizomba is already urban, and there is already an “Urban Kiz” marketing term and numerous others for the different “new styles”).  Then you have folks who aren’t in any cliques and are kind of in the middle, like us.
Each clique has a festival, or festivals, to promote their interests/agenda, but you will rarely see folks in one clique attending festivals put on by another clique.  In Europe, festivals have separate rooms, but in the US, we have separate festivals.  The division is disappointing.

Having a group of people who have similar interests band together isn’t in and of itself wrong, but due to clique politics, those in cliques rarely if ever work with folks who are not in said clique, rarely support those not in the same clique, and sometimes will try to attack folks who are not in their cliques.  This has happened to us numerous times.

We have numerous “leaders” in our community who are not leaders.  For purposes of this discussion, a leader is someone who actually sets a good example.  A “leader” is simply someone who has followers (or sycophants).
Why do we have such a cliquish vibe?  Because many of the “leaders” in our community don’t want unity.  They want to build little fiefdoms where they can feel like kings and queens, control the narrative, and have extreme influence over the minds (and pockets) or their followers.  Many of them didn’t achieve their position due to any great talent in dance/music/etc. or shining ethics, but simply because they were first on the scene (or backstabbed the first on the scene).  But many are afraid of losing their position/authority/status to others who are joining the community who are more talented, work harder, and/or add more value to the community.  So if someone wants to become an instructor/DJ/organizer in a city, the cliques expect folks to get their “approval” or they won’t support them, or will actively try to torpedo them.

In an ideal world, the most successful folks will be the folks who add the most value/quality, but because of clique politics, you will sometimes have high quality events that won’t be supported by the cliques because of politics, because the event is not put on by a member of the clique, because the success of said event doesn’t directly benefit them or their pockets.

Many of the “leaders” in the community are insecure and competitive externally, and when they feel threatened by others who are putting in work, they’d rather try to bring them down than better themselves to remain competitive.  So we have people squabbling over a few hundred people when there are literally millions of people out there that could be brought into the community if people worked together.

Many of said “leaders” have been very lazy about the product they are selling.  Many instructors on both sides of the divide have been very lazy about their training.  We have “urban kizomba” instructors who barely dance Kizomba and have a very weak foundation (though their marketing may be excellent).  We also have instructors using the fact that they are “African” to try to use “African privilege” to mislead folks into thinking they are more expert in Kizomba/Semba than they are.  Being African in no way makes somebody an expert or master of Kizomba in and of itself.

Many of these “leaders” in our community have been engaging in some seriously bad behavior, ranging from spreading lies about others), backstabbing, being nasty and attacking others unfairly, and now, we’re hearing stories of sexual assault/rape being perpetrated by “leaders” in our community!  And we have people trying to defend these bad actors because of clique politics.  People who feel they stand to gain from a relationship with a “leader”, either a potential boost or “stamp of approval” for their career, financial gain, ego boost, etc., will ignore his/her bad behavior because of their own self-interest.

We have lots of “leaders” talking about Trump, but some of the same “leaders” are exactly the same, and we our own Trumps of the Kizomba community being co-signed and enabled by people due to clique politics.  We have “leaders” taking advantage of women, and people are trying to defend these bad actors for their own selfish reasons instead of doing what’s right.  We have others keeping silent on these issues because of cowardice, or because of clique politics.  Being selfish isn’t a crime, but to grow the community the right way, we need true leaders who are brave enough to step up and do the right thing.

Part of the issue is that many of the current instructors/DJs/organizers/”leaders”/marketers etc. are “opportunists”, rather than “scenebuilders”.  A scenebuilder is someone who cares about more than themselves, who do things for the greater good of the community, even if it doesn’t directly benefit them immediately.  An opportunist only really cares about himself/herself.  They are focused on their own immediate advantage, their money, their influence, their attention from men/women.  Being an opportunist isn’t illegal, but you can’t truly build a sustainable community on selfishness, as this attitude doesn’t lead to building a community, but instead to cliques/fiefdoms.

Many people who currently have status in the dance community had little to no status in the real world before dancing.  Many had very little attention from the opposite/same sex before dancing, but now because they are in a position of influence, they find themselves getting more attention/shine than they ever did in the real world and don’t know how to deal with it responsibly.  This is part of why you see a very thirsty “meat market” vibe at certain events and the related foolishness that occurs.

There is also an issue with “celebrity” culture.  We have people walking around like Jay-Z and Beyonce because they have taught at/performed at/Djed at/organized a festival, with the accompanying ego but without the accompanying pockets.  We recently had a charity event supporting an anti-sexual abuse charity (www.climbagainstsexualabuse.com) and reached out to various instructors/DJs locally.  We were told “no” by some of these folks because they were too cool to work for free (though none of us made any money off this event, it was for CHARITY).  But hey, charity isn’t for everyone.  But imagine if everyone who presumed to be a “leader” actually cared about something other than their own money/power/influence/romantic attention.

So what does “support” mean?  We have folks trying to create new definitions of the word to suit their own interests, so here’s the dictionary definition:  1. “to bear all or part of the weight of; hold up” or 2. “to give assistance to, especially financially; to enable to function or act”.  So now that that is taken care of, how often do you see “leaders” buy a full pass to support an event not put on by a member of their clique?  Sometimes you have instructors who presume to deserve a free pass to the events of others just because they’re instructors.  Sometimes you’ll see “leaders” go to a party of someone else’s event for a few hours, but you rarely see more support than that.

Many of these “leaders” are looked at as “demi-gods” by members of their cliques/fiefdoms.  People in the cliques don’t want to believe that their “leaders” are engaging in bad behavior even when the truth is staring them right in the face.  This in turn enables the “leaders” to continue the bad behavior.  It’s important to remember that being an instructor, DJ, organizer, “leader”, artist, etc. doesn’t make you a good person, we have plenty “leaders” in our community who have ZERO character, but they are being enabled by people who want the approval of a clique or “leader”.  But is having said approval worth compromising your values and integrity?  To us, NO, but we will all have to make our own decisions.

There are some artists who are afraid to speak up on the issues facing our community because they are afraid to piss off event organizers and potentially not get booked at a festival.  But I say this…

THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE THAN A FESTIVAL, even a relatively big one, even a fun one.

THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE THAN A FESTIVAL, and I say that as a festival organizer.

THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE THAN A FESTIVAL!

So how do we build a truly unified community?  Well… it starts with the leaders!  The leaders need to want unity, so the community need to hold “leaders” accountable.

Being unified doesn’t mean having to support crappy teachers or events.  If you have a crappy event, don’t expect support.  If you are an “urban kizomba”/”new style” teacher with weak African dance foundation, don’t expect support.  If you claim to be a Semba teacher but only dance Semba “show”, don’t expect support.  But if people are adding quality to the community, it’s important to support as much as is possible.  Also, I see many instructors and “experienced” dancers who are too cool to go to workshops.  But I say this now, there is nobody in the US too good to attend a workshop, including me!

To my “urban kizomba” lovers, your part in achieving unity is to take the time to actually learn Kizomba (referred to as “traditional” as some, though it’s not a traditional dance).  You can’t have unity with someone who is disrespecting you, and particularly teachers, if you are not taking the time to develop the proper foundation and exposing people to Kizomba properly, you are disrespecting an entire culture, not to mention creating subpar dancers and mutations.  Put in the work, show true respect for Kizomba, and you will find unity that much easier to achieve.

To my “traditionalist” clique folks.  Part of the reason some of the more “urban” leaning folks don’t want to be a part of Kizomba/Semba, is that some of the biggest names/biggest mouths of the “traditionalist” camp have been so nasty and caused so much division around the world.  Much of the current division facing our community is due to the shady actions of “leaders” in this clique, not to mention some seriously bad behavior being perpetrated. I’ve seen the division created overseas, and now I’m seeing it happen here in the US.  Hold your “leaders” accountable, show respect to everyone, and unity will be much easier to achieve.

If you only support opportunists, you are supporting the growth of cliques.  If you see people who support the events of others, who make beginners feel welcome, who show they care about more than their own immediate interests, these are the scenebuilders around whom a sustainable community can be built.  A clique” based on opportunism will not stand the test of time.

If you really love Kizomba, see the potential, and want to build, join us in the Kizomba Unity group, where we discuss issue facing the community!  https://www.facebook.com/groups/kizombaunity

If you support bad behavior, you’re enabling it.  There has been some SERIOUS bad behavior going on in our community that I’m not at liberty to fully disclose here, but I will just make this statement.

WE WILL NOT SUPPORT ANY LEADERS WHO ENGAGE IN CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR, INCLUDING RAPE.  WE WILL NOT PUT ANY MONEY IN YOUR POCKETS, WE WILL NOT BUY PASSES TO YOUR EVENTS.

It is our hope that more leaders will step up and do the same for the benefit of our community.  We need to hold our leaders accountable.

Kizomba is such a beautiful dance to have the potential to be the greatest social dance in the world.  I have seen Kizomba literally change people’s lives around.  We could have a diverse community millions strong, where the “urban” lovers also dance Kizomba/Semba, where the “traditionalists” also understood Semba instead of just doing “show”, where everyone can come together in one room where all types of music are being played and everyone can dance together.  This is the purpose of our festival, KHADE, which takes place this December 9-12 in Cancun!

If you’re at a festival with separate rooms, try both rooms!  If you are an “urban” lover but don’t dance Kizomba, you’re dancing a mutation, and you should train with instructors who have a solid African dance foundation (being African does NOT mean you have the proper foundation).  If you are a Semba lover but are dancing “show” on the social dance floor, you’re also a part of the problem.

Remember, unity doesn’t mean supporting crap.  But if folks put on quality events/classes, then we should try to support regardless of politics.

We have many “leaders” taking advantage of people, and not just the aforementioned sexual assault.  There are folks who want to teach/DJ/perform at festivals so bad that they kiss the butts of clique “leaders” who are just using them with no intention to actually help them succeed.  This is wrong.

Instructors, teaching at a festival is not the end all be all.  You can build a successful business without teaching at every festival IF you have a quality product.  Marketing can help with this.  But be wary of marketers, your money is better spent investing in training to get your product up to snuff.  Then you can focus more on marketing.  Because if your product isn’t quality than no amount of marketing will make up for it forever.  There are instructors in the scene with excellent marketing, web presence, etc., but whose actual African dance foundation is very weak.  Excellent marketing will only get you so far, because people in the know who actually care (like us) will not allow people to be taken advantage of overmuch and will call out such bad behavior.

Many of the people who are currently “leaders” won’t be around in a few years for various reasons.  The future of Kizomba in the US is bright, because we have some upcoming talents who are not resting on their laurels, who work HARD, are hungry, and truly care about building a community.  We know because we are working with many of them and will continue to do so.

To those who are on the fence about learning Kizomba, understand that many of the issues facing our community are not Kizomba-specific issues, they are being faced by people all around the world.  But we have true leaders who are willing to face these issues to create a special community, and it is a community worth joining.

So in conclusion, support each other.  Don’t be so insecure and territorial.  If someone makes you feel insecure, work hard to provide a quality product.  Show love to people putting in work.  Don’t enable bad behavior, and hold “leaders” accountable.

To the “leaders” out there, stop abusing your position and engaging in bad behavior, stop taking advantage of people, and I mean that in every sense of the word.  People look up to you.  There is no place in our community for “leaders” who abuse their influence and hurt the healthy growth of our community, and if you continue to abuse your position, don’t be surprised if you lose your position of leadership.  You have been warned.

To everyone working hard and adding value, thank you.  Let’s build the kind community our grandkids will be able to enjoy, a family-friendly community where people of all races and genders feel safe and welcome, where the roots and history of Kizomba are respected such that people of the PALOP community feel welcome, but where the atmosphere is not cliquish or judgmental so that lover of “new styles” also feel welcome.  Everyone who supports this vision will be a part of something special, and something that can make money for everyone who puts in the work, even if money isn’t prioritized over community building.  Thanks for reading/watching, feel free to comment, and share if you like it!

What if I told you it was entirely possible to be physically close to another human being, to enjoy that close contact with another person, and to be fully present in that moment without it turning into anything sexual or inappropriate? Well it is! And that is part of the beauty of Kizomba! Learning how to separate non-sexual (but pleasant) human contact from sexual contact is difficult in our American culture that is paradoxically hyper-sexed but at the same time sexually repressed, and yet learning to do so is what truly enables us to “connect” with each other, and brings a level of peace, happiness, and harmony that has turned many of us into Kizomba addicts!

Unfortunately, the word “connection” is tossed around so much by folks who don’t truly understand what connection really means.  Some of these folks try to use Kizomba as a “stand-in” for a romantic, sexual, or other type of relationship, and some equate “connection” with physical attraction, for instance. But therein lies a problem. The “connection” one enjoys in Kizomba in its purest form is NOT a romantic or sexual one, as Kizomba is at its core a family dance. Many of us are able to enjoy close contact and connection with family members with few issues, but struggle with close contact to non-family members.  And some of us enter the dance scene because we’re looking to either “tap into a new market” of the opposite sex (or same-sex of course), or we’re looking to have more romantic success in the dance world than we had in the real world, and this thirsty vibe can create issues for those who are just looking to dance and have good clean fun (or slightly naughty fun that stays on the dance floor)!  And though I understand that being in a community of adults who share common passions (such as dance), romantic interactions will occur, and that can be a beautiful thing (hell it happened to me!), the really thirsty “meat market” vibe that is prevalent in some dance scenes is dangerous to the healthy growth of the community long-term, and is something we do NOT want to see happen with Kizomba!

We would hate to see dancers stop dancing when they start dating someone, or to see folks who are already married or in relationships hesitate to try Kizomba because they fear that the close contact inherent to Kizomba might cause strain or issues in their relationship, or misconstrue the close hold of Kizomba as something inherently inappropriate for someone who is taken.  It is entirely possible to enjoy dancing Kizomba/Semba (and other dances) without jeopardizing any current relationships.

In fact, dancing Kizomba can help us learn to set proper boundaries. For instance, I’m in a very happy relationship, and yet I enjoy connecting with others on the dance floor (and off the dance floor). When dancing, I enjoy the close contact, as it’s basically a hug (unless the person is funky, but we work hard to discourage such things at our events lol), but I set boundaries. So, even if I’m dancing with a hot young thang that isn’t Monica (such as Mitali, Chelsea, and Melissa the ladies in the pic), I’m able to enjoy the connection for what it is, and set boundaries as to what it’s not, so I stay out of trouble. So I enjoy some awesome connected dances (and maybe a lil tasteful Tarraxinha mixed in here and there heh heh), and then I go home with my woman and all is well! The Kizomba connection is NOT a “stand-in” for relationships of any sort, but is an awesome complement to your current relationships and will add value to your life whether you have no friends or 100, whether you’re single or happily married!

So what does “connection” mean in the context of Kizomba? It’s what happens when two dancers experience trust, respect, relaxation, and presence in the moment on the social dance floor, and therein have a supremely enjoyable dance. And a dancer who understands what connection truly means and how to “set the stage”, as it were, will be able to connect with almost ANYONE on the social dance floor, regardless of looks, size, background, or relationship status.  Want to learn more about connection and become part of an awesome community (and get TONS of free hugs)? Check out our weekly classes on Tuesdays at 7:30 (Instructor permission required) and Wednesdays at 8:00 at Sonia’s World of Dance (5535 Richmond Ave), or you can check out our app Kizomba To Go™ which has been downloaded in 80+ COUNTRIES at www.kizombatogo.com!   For more info about Kizomba Harmony check out our website at www.kizombaharmony.com or our Facebook Fanpage at www.facebook.com/KizombaHarmony! See you all on the dance floor soon!

2015 has been nothing less than an AMAZING year for Kizomba Harmony, and we couldn’t have done it without the support of YOU, our community, and we thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for your support.  However, 2015 has definitely had its share of challenges.  Monica and I have struggled and gotten our arses kicked six ways from Sunday in 100’s of hours of training and practice, we’ve butted heads and argued, and we’ve been hated on by folks to whom we’ve shown nothing but support.

But as it happened, even these challenges have worked to our benefit.  Because of all the training and practice, we leveled up tremendously in a relatively short amount of time.  Because we’ve butted heads, we got to know and appreciate each other’s viewpoints and we can better work together, strengthening our partnership.  The haters only strengthened our resolve to achieve our goals and reaffirmed the value of our scenebuilder mentality and approach, and our vision for a quality sustainable and unified scene.

A few 2015 KH highlights:

– KH taught at 13 events in 2015 (not including our own events), and taught or peformed in 6 COUNTRIES this year!  And we’re already booked for the 7th country in 2016!  Definitely a blessing!

– KH hosted numerous well-attended Kizomba, Semba, and Soukous workshops and weekenders taught by some of the world’s elite talents!  Thank you to all who supported our events, we couldn’t do it without you!

– KH taught 100’s of hours of Kizomba, Semba, Tarraxinha  (and a little Soukous haha) in festivals, weekenders, and our own workshops and weekly classes (shoutout to my man Gerard Cartwright for teaching our weekly classes and holding down the fort when we were out of town training!), and we have been blessed to be in a position to expose a great many people to Kizomba, Semba, and African dance in general for the first time!

– KH created the first downloadable mobile Kizomba instructional app in the world, Kizomba To Go™, which has already been downloaded in 47 countries by very happy customers!  We’re filming new levels now, but if you haven’t downloaded Level 1 yet, go to www.kizombatogo.com right now and check it out, you won’t be sorry!

– I officially became KH’s resident DJ (DJ Billy the Kiz) after training with my DJ mentor To’ Costa.  I DJ at our events of course but I will also be DJing at festivals and socials near you!  True to our music/dance philosophy, I make it a point to try and play a bit of ALL music played at Kizomba parties worldwide.  You can check out some of my mixes at www.soundcloud.com/kizombaharmony!

– We wrote the Kizomba Harmony Manifesto, which lays out in detail our vision for the scene/community.  You can check it out here: www.kizombaharmony.com/manifesto!

Geez, even talking about 2015 has me tired.  But we are fired up about making 2016 an even better year for KH and our community!  We want to take a moment to personally thank all of the artists who have taught at our events and given us words of encouragement, and the many organizers who have trusted us to share our knowledge and passion with your event attendees.  We also want to give extra thanks to all those who have taken our festival classes, bought our app, come to our events, or given us words of support.  An extra special thank you goes out to the students in our weekly classes who trust us with their learning on a day-to-day basis.  We love you and are so proud to be your teachers and see your tremendous growth as dancers.  You make all the hard work we put in worthwhile, and we definitely look forward to leveling you all up BIGTIME in 2016!

We are truly grateful and humbled by the support we’ve received from both our local community and the international community.  We truly couldn’t do what we do without your love and support.  And with your help, we will continue to work towards building a scene/community where instructors/DJ/promoters respect their craft and the history and culture of Kizomba/Semba and offer value to the community because they are held accountable by the community, where leaders in the community don’t let misguided competitive impulses cloud their judgment, where our people seek to understand each other rather than hate on each other (publicly or privately), where we can all come together and enjoy the beauty that is Kizomba/Semba without unnecessary fighting.  Where those “of the culture” feel respected, and those “new to the culture” feel appreciated.  This is our vision.

We want to wish you all a very Happy New Year, may you all find peace, joy, and fulfilment in the new year and beyond, and we’ll see you on the dance floor soon!